Festive pitch

What makes the perfect Xmas tune? It’s hard to tell. I know what doesn’t – a certain Cowell and Co, a touch too heavy on the jingles, a little loose of the festive strings. Which why Spector does it and Simon doesn’t. Why it’s gotta mention the man in the red outfit and why it’s gotta bristle with charm. Festive charm. Something that will always ring my jungle bell.

1. Darlene ‘Love Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ Philles Records
Snow’s coming down and baby’s still out jingling her bells. Get back here bitch! My ultimate Christmas record, this Spector swinger has it all.

2. The Waitresses ‘Christmas Wrapping’ ZE Records

A Christmas tune so joyous it’ll have you squeezing anything brightly coloured or wearing a bow within several miles of your tree. Even if your name’s not on the label.

3. Andy Williams ‘It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year’ Columbia

Doesn’t matter how many things this lovely ode to Yuletide is used to advertise. It’s still the truth.

4. Otis Redding ‘White Christmas’ Atco Records

Controversial as it may sound, but in Ding Dong land this is by far the best version. Cue fake snow and a sea of Christmas elves rummaging around in their stockings.

5. Wham ‘Last Christmas’ Epic

This can only be listened to whilst watching the totally brilliant video. How can one have Xmas without a bad knit?

6. Beach Boys ‘Little Saint Nick’ Capitol
For a band specialising in the summer sounds of golden California it’s amazing how Christmassy the boys sound. Try their Greatest Hits whilst tucking into your turkey!

7. The Supremes ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’ Motown or The Crystals ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’ Philles Records
Couldn’t choose which one’s best but lovely ladies serenading the arrival of a big fat bloke in red shouldn’t sound this good.

8. Barbra Streisand ‘My Favourite Things’ Columbia

Listen to Babs with her mittens and strudels!!! Would love to spend Christmas at her gaff. I’d hate to have to think of what present to get her though……

9. Stevie Wonder ‘Someday At Christmas’ Motown
This paints a perfect picture of Christmas but then I have again I have just polished off the Xmas brandy.

10.Love Unlimited ‘It Maybe Winter Outside But In My Heart It’s Spring’ 20th Century Records

Whilst not strictly a ‘Christmas record’ I couldn’t deny this a place. It’s the got end-of-Xmas-disco-erection-section running through it’s veins.

Merry Christmas!!!