Sometimes your head gets fried. Sometimes you forget what a lucky bugger you are. Sometimes you forget to celebrate what you have. It can be tough somedays. It can get to you somedays. I may have been officially diagnosed as a ‘sensitive soul’ and life with a new condition with a odd name may be what I have ahead but I know what a truly lucky bugger I am. It’s been almost a week since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and whilst the initial fuck you reaction morphed into fucking hell tears, I’m slowly but surely getting my head round the reason for my years of symptoms. Chronic muscle pain, fatigue, brain fog and an inability to ever hit deep restorative sleep are the long and short of it all apparently and little is known as to the why and wherefores. Support on the NHS seems pretty thin on the ground and advice ranges from the easy to the expensive via the effective and the not so. But whatever fibromyalgia (odd name, crap symptoms) has in store for me I’m gonna beat the bugger. Me, a few choice meds, anti-oxidants, magnesium and of course the missus. Nothing is gonna stop that dance of mine.
And this is one of the many tunes that make me remember how lucky I am. When it gets dark in this head of mine, when this fibro-malarkey keeps me awake at night I’ll cling on to the thought that eventually – being the lucky bugger that I am – I’ll be raising my hands in the air once again. DJing, playing, dancing, writing, living.
I love the way music does this to me and nothing is gonna stop that love affair. Whatever the fibro-malarkey is.